I’m about to rock your world and challenge you in ways you may have never been challenged before as a mom.
My name is Andee Martineau and I coach moms so they can create amazing breakthroughs in their family and in their life.
I help moms tackle all the biggest problems they face and give them the tools to process their world in a whole new way.
3 - YOU have what it takes inside of you to be an amazing mom
I love the way that moms reach and search and cling to anything they think will work as they are raising their children.
I remember craving any guidance or tools or tips and tricks about what worked and grabbing on to any shred that gave me hope.
The problem is that many of our problems today come because we’ve been using the wrong tools for the job (more on this later--don’t worry… there is good news).
Whether you are feeling at your wits end and wish you could quit being a mom, or you’re feeling pretty good and just trying to take things to the next level, I want you to know that I genuinely believe that you have everything inside of you to become the mom you’ve dreamed of becoming.
And I’m here to help you unlock that potential.
2 - We have most of it dead wrong
Which is kind of crazy when you think about how important Moms are in this world!
But even if there was a textbook, nothing could really prepare us for what we face as a mom every day in our homes.
1 - There is no Mom Manual for crying out loud
The problems that torment moms everywhere...
After coaching thousands of moms and learning what their biggest parenting challenges are, I have a pretty good sense of the things you may be struggling with.
This picture shows some of the common words that moms use to describe to me what’s not working
And here are quotes from real moms talking about their biggest parenting challenges:
(Do any of these sound familiar?)
My kids won't listen
"Getting the kids to listen"
"They don't listen. It causes big fights"
"Getting my child to obey me the first time "
"My son doesn't listen or follows the rules"
I'm not patient enough and I lose my temper
"I get easily upset for little things"
"Taking stress out on the kids"
"I have no patience, I lose my temper and don't know how to handle my children's emotional melt downs"
"Getting frustrated when my kids don't listen, get along, or pick up!"
I'm tired of yelling
"No one listens until I yell. And I don't like to yell."
"Getting my kids to listen without screaming at them"
"Shouting when I need to be calm"
"Always repeating myself over and over and I start to yell the more I repeat myself."
We have too many power struggles
"Power struggles with my daughter"
"The power struggles. Getting my son to do what he needs to do when I ask him"
I'm not connecting with my kids
"Can't connect with my daughter"
"Connecting with my kids. Letting loose & having fun."
"Fear of not having a strong loving lasting relationship with my family because of me
"Taking a time to hang out with them like they need"
"Relating to my daughter.... being able to bond with her on her level"
I don't know the best way to discipline
"How to handle flat out disobedience, because time out and spanking doesn't seem to be working!"
"Discipline and staying firm with it."
"Disciplining my boys without yelling or giving a spanking."
"Effective connective discipline"
"Guilt parenting and little to no discipline"
My kids won't clean up messes
"The Messes and getting irritated"
"Getting kids to pick up after themselves."
"Getting him to clean up his room"
"Don't like messes and disorganization"
"Getting them to clean their room."
And this list goes on and on.
Do any of those sound (eerily) familiar to you?
As a little girl, I had a vision of what being a mom would be like.
I was going to be the fun, loving energetic mom who could tackle anything. My kids would love me and want to be around me. I wouldn’t need to lecture my kids or ground them. I’d just teach them and they’d do exactly as I said.
Note to little Andee: “Your vision may have been sliiiightly over-simplified.”
And so time went on and I spent over a decade of my mom years right in the guts of those challenges above.
And I wondered if it was really possible to realize my dream.
Some days were amazing.
And some days were magnificently horrendous, and left me wondering if I had what it took to be a great mom.
Looking back now, I realize I was usually a victim of my circumstances.
I never would have called myself a victim back then. But what I’ve since realized is how dependent I was on things outside of me to dictate how my day was going to go.
It seemed like the way I ended up feeling was a direct result of what my kids decided to do that day.
If one of my kids decided to wake up on the wrong side of the bed and be in “one of those moods”, or be late for school, or leave a mile-long trail of things for me to pick up… then I’d naturally react with frustration or anger.
If I could wake them all up with just the right tone in my voice (back scratches would help) so they were all in a "good mood", then we might just have a day that wouldn’t erupt into fighting or yelling or lecturing.
I also remember how other stresses of life took their toll on me and (by extension) my kids. They could always feel it when something was going on. (Maybe they could see the storm cloud following me around :)
And while I have AMAZING memories of my early years parenting, I have way too many negative memories of feeling a lack of confidence, anxiety and stress, losing my temper, feeling disconnected from my kids, feeling frustration and anger, and worst of all: yelling.
I hated yelling.
I remember the looks on my kids faces. Those little eyes would tell an entire story in an instant. It was clear that I was letting them down. I was supposed to be the one in control and I was losing it!
And then later I could see a change in their demeanor. I could see that they were nervous. I’d lost respect. I’d say sorry, but it wouldn’t seem to take it all away. I felt like I had violated their trust and crossed a line.
It was like Groundhog's Day.
I read all the books and tried all the tricks my friends were using. I tried 290 variations of consequences… putting them in time out, extra chores, SODAs, forced apologies, threatening, Martineau Maid Service and on and on.
I delivered some of the most stunning lectures known to man (child).
I tried bribes…and clipboards, binders, sticker charts, dry erase boards, family store, candy, dollar store treats, Dunkin Donut runs, spreadsheets, checklists, centralized laundry (I literally removed all the clothes from my children’s rooms and kept it in the laundry room), I made everyone a toddler again and took away all their things, the Martineau Economy, levels of liberty, forced naps, timed trials, a Disneyland trip (that I turned around and brought the kids back home before we got there...yep epic fail), cooking strike... just to name a few.
But my kids weren’t changing.
And I wasn’t changing.
I was stuck.
I didn’t know what to do, or where to turn. But I knew something needed to change.
I’m not going to share all the juicy details with you now about exactly what I learned that changed my trajectory as a mom, but what I am going to mention now is the result of what happened.
In a nutshell, I learned the HOW that I had been missing.
No, not a superficial parenting trick. Something much deeper.
I learned HOW to take any situation I find myself in and be in control of the way I feel and act.
I learned the methodology for basically hand-picking the way I wanted to feel in any situation.
I had always known “what” I wanted to do… but it was the HOW that was missing. And then I found it.
Right out of the gate I started to get really aware when I was blaming my situation or my kids for making me feel and react the way I had been.
Pretty soon I was able to evaluate (with hindsight) the things that had happened and realize that it was my thoughts about what was going on that was creating my result, not the situations.
And then after a few more months I started to develop the ability to change the way I felt - in the moment. I could intercept the thoughts, pull them out of my head, inspect them, change them, and put them back in!
It took a few months, but I went from the victim of my circumstances to the owner and author of how I felt.
This meant that I could choose to show up the way I wanted to… even if the kids went on their merry way doing what they always have done.
It was the most liberating experience of my life!
I don’t want to spend too much time talking about my life, because I think it’s hard enough with social media to avoid looking around and trying to live someone else’s life. (I believe you should live your own life and find what makes you happy.) Plus, the longer you look, the more of my warts you’ll see ;)
But I will say this:
I’m a transformed mom.
I have a confidence and calm that were only occasional guests in the past.
It is rare that I blame my kids or others for the way I feel.
I have the tools and the perspective to process breakdowns and challenges without spiraling out of control.
I know how to connect with and love my kids--even in the heat of their tantrums.
I believe I am building connections that will last a lifetime.
Lest you read that list above and get the wrong idea… you should know that I still have plenty of warts and lots of things I’m working on every day.
But it’s different, because I understand the "How". I have the tools.
It’s better. It’s magical.
Do you think it is possible?
Can you imagine yourself in this place where you are patient, understanding and completely in control?
Can you believe that you’d be filled with self confidence and armed with the tools and skills to create your dream relationship with your kids?
Can you see the day when one of your kids wakes up with that cranky attitude or tells you “no!” or hits their sibling and you’re able to take it all in and deal with it (without losing your temper or losing a connection with your child)?
What would that mean for you in your life?
How would it change things for you?
I created This Momma Life Tribe (TML Tribe for short) as part of my mission to empower moms to transform themselves and their families.
It’s designed for moms who are ready to be “unstuck” in their lives and who want to be surrounded by like-minded women who are going through the same transformation.
TML Tribe is where I have put all of the knowledge and experience I’ve gained working with thousands of moms and I deliver it to you in a simple, consumable format that will change your world.
My Parenting Method
The core of TML Tribe is the Connect Method™, which is a complete framework for parenting that I’ve developed after years of study, practice and teaching & coaching thousands of moms. It includes these key pillars:
The STEAR Model™: a coaching framework that will teach you how to identify the root of any problem you have… and how to create brand new results.
You can start getting results with the STEAR Model™ right away... and, it’s got so many layers of depth that it’s still the tool I use on a daily basis!
The E.X.P.A.N.D. Choices™: a set of 6 core guiding principles that will change the way you think and act as a parent… and in your life.
These core principles will challenge many of the assumptions you may have about parenting and about life. They are the essence of the transformation and I'm excited to share them with you.
TML Tribe is an ongoing monthly coaching program designed to help you transform as a mom and accomplish the things you’ve dreamt about your whole life. And then some.
Every new TML Tribe member starts out with an 8-week course called Connect 101 where I take you on a journey through a basic overview of the STEAR Coaching Model and the EXPAND Choices.
I’ve designed this course very intentionally to re-create for YOU the major life-altering discoveries I’ve experienced. Each principle builds on the others-
It's not your kids making you yell
Where emotions come from, and how you pick the ones you want.
That's NOT Okay... Or Is It?
Learn how to neutralize the situations that used to put you over the edge.
My reaction to misbehaving is no reaction.
How to act when kids don’t listen (without the yelling)
How to catch your kids red-handed (and accuse them)
The uncomfortable tool you’ll use every day as a transformed mom.
If you don't know how to feel emotions, how could your kids?
Learn how to process your emotions like an adult.
Create the rules of the track... and be ready for them to be broken
How to set rules and consequences without losing the connection.
TIME IN works better than TIME OUT
Make the game so juicy that your kids will beg you to be a part of it.
Lovability and your ability to love
How to start loving your kids... even when it’s not easy
Connect 101 Topics
Monthly Training Topics
After the initial 8 weeks you'll feel amazing, but I'm not just going to leave you on the side of the road and move on. There is so much more I want to teach you.
TML Tribe is designed to support you as you implement all that you are learning. We are a TRIBE!
It takes time and practice to make lasting changes. That's why every month I teach you a new topic that we work on and that builds on what you learned in Connect 101.
We dive deep on important and meaty topics, like:
-How to Coach Yourself
-How to Connect Better with your kids
-Healing Broken Relationships
The TML App
Because teaching and learning is such an important part of TML Tribe, I invested to create my own app (avail on iPhone and Android) where I deliver all of the training to you.
I have to say, this app is amazing. One of the things I obsess over is how quickly you can get access to the content we’re studying. You don’t have time to search through websites and emails just to find the material.
The TML app remembers exactly where you left off the last time (to the second) and can let you pick right back up instantly. That means you can make the most of the little slivers of time you have throughout your day to help with your transformation.
Weekly Live Coaching Calls
I also host weekly LIVE coaching calls for Tribe members. It’s my favorite part of TML Tribe because it’s where we get real and work on your specific issues.
If you can’t make every live call, it’s OK. I record them and post replays in the app.
The coaching process is simple: Moms volunteer to share specific situations they are struggling with and I coach them using the STEAR model.
The impact is magical. Every group coaching call you will find yourself in the challenges these other moms are having. I do not require all of my members to be coached live on coaching calls, so even if you’re quietly listening in, you’ll learn from the coaching I give the other TML Tribe members who are coached. It is powerful and fun!
We get better as a tribe every week.
Weekly Live Coaching Calls
I recognize the chaos you face every day, so I’ve also created the TML Daily binder, which is where you’ll house all of the worksheets and printed tools I give you.
Then I guide you on specific routines you can do every day to stay at the top of your game.
I put my yoga instructor, parenting coach and life coach certifications to work all at the same time with my TML Workouts, which are exercise sessions for your mind: a fusion of a guided yoga, meditation and a coaching session, all in one!
They’re each designed for a different purpose, but will give you a jump start to your day and help you build important mental and emotional skills (and/or help you pull out of a tailspin if needed:).
I made a decision when I launched TML Tribe to pick a price point that would make it accessible for moms that wanted to join.
While my 1:1 coaching packages are $2,000 and a single coaching session is $200, TML Tribe is only $49 a month.
So, that’s basically my entire Connect Method, a new training topic every month, the EXPAND Choices, Stear Model, Group Coaching calls every week, the TML App and TML Daily… all for 1/4th the cost of a single 1-hr coaching session!
While I know moms tend to be much more willing to invest in a coach for their children (soccer coach, swim coach, dance coach, etc.), too many moms never think about hiring a coach for themselves.
It’s time you have a coach for you too.
When you invest in yourself by finding a coach, your whole family will benefit.
You’re daily practice with the STEAR model and Connect Method is starting to make a huge difference.
You’ll catch yourself naturally thinking more positive things about even your most difficult child, and finding empowering thoughts filling your mind where negative ones previously were.
You’ll be showing up more loving, happy and connected with your kids and the people in your life.
You’ll start to see what you’re capable of and are proud of yourself and the work you are doing.
You’ll be excited about the progress you’ve made and can’t wait to keep learning and growing for yourself and your kids.
After 3 months…
You’ll notice you’re showing up with more curiosity and less judgement with your kids.
You’ll be loving and practicing using some new tools that are helping you not lose your temper as often.
You’ll start seeing the power of NOTICING your kids. You will begin to understand what a “reset” is and how that can help stop the typical negative consequences so many of us are addicted to because we don’t know any better.
You won’t be freaked out when something happens that you weren’t expecting.
Using the Connect Method, you’ll really start to see shifts in your home.
After 2 months…
You’ll feel more relaxed and on fire… and perhaps a bit discombobulated.
You’ll be going through the first part of the Connect 101 course and I’ll be challenging some of your long-held beliefs about parenting. You’ll start hearing some of the revolutionary parenting concepts framed up in a way that feels true in your core.
You’ll begin to appreciate yourself and your kids in new ways. You’ll find yourself naturally drawn away from social media and toward listening and re-listening to the TML Tribe videos.
You’ll feel your old habits start to release their grip on you.
After a month…
Over time, you will master these concepts and will:
Feel confident and in control
Know how to handle any situation your kids throw at you
Stop second-guessing yourself and learn to trust your god-given instincts
Learn to take true ownership of the way you feel so you can choose how you feel no matter what the kids are doing
Stay connected to your kids
Learn to find new levels of connection with each child
Learn how to discipline your kids without losing your connection to them
Create connections that will last a lifetime. They'll call you!
Feel happy, fulfilled and impactful
Eliminate unnecessary suffering and know how to pull out of a tailspin
Learn to see and express the amazing qualities in each of your kids
Set your children up for success in their life
Create a better life
These tools will work in other settings and in your relationship with your husband, your family, friends, co-workers, etc.
Learn how to handle mess-ups
You're not going to be perfect
I give you tools or handling your mess-ups so you don't spiral back out of control
Or if you do... how you can pull out
“This seriously has changed my heart and my brain! Can’t imagine where I’d be without it! So worth it!”
"Working with Andee has been the most freeing work I have ever done. She has taken every parenting book I have ever read and created a program loaded with simple steps and tools that are usable and doable. It's fun and it works! "
“Andee is an amazing coach! Asking for help in parenting can feel pretty vulnerable, but she approaches it with the nonjudgmental energy of a trusted advisor. She is clear, kind, and truly gifted. I feel so grateful for her work.”
“I have truly enjoyed working with Andee. She has a wealth of knowledge, training and experience. She has developed an inspired program, one that truly empowers mothers to take ownership of their lives in new and exciting ways.
If you are unhappy with the current results you’re getting, seeking personal growth, just want to up-level an area of your life, or would like to improve your relationships (especially with your children), I highly recommend coaching with Andee to help get you the results you really want.”
“Andee is incredible. She's an amazing coach who is passionate about this work and her clients. Her vibrant and positive countenance just draws you in and creates an atmosphere perfect for learning and for growth. I have learned so much from her!”
“From the first meeting Andee she really made me think about what it was I wanted to be as a mother, structuring my parenting in a way that I’d never thought of before, and helping me focus on the things that really mattered and brought me joy!!”
Can I be direct with you? (say yes, pleeeease...)
I want to invite you to join TML Tribe... TODAY.
It’s part of my mission to help transform moms and if what I’ve been sharing is resonating with you, then I’d love to have you join.
I feel so strongly about how much value this can create for you that I came up with a way for me to take all of the risk of showing you what value I can deliver.
Here's the scoop:
I am starting a new TML Tribe group on Friday, Nov 1st. I'm trying something I've never tried before to make this super easy for anyone who wants to join.
Here's how it works:
You sign up for TML Tribe today for $49.
During the first 30 days, you’ll go through the first 4 lessons.
I’ll teach you the STEAR Coaching model (which can help you solve any problem), the fundamentals of energizing greatness (which will twirl your world and change your relationship with your child), how to process your emotions (something I wish we’d all learned in middle school), and all the other good stuff in the first course.
If it's not the most amazing thing you've experienced or it's not right for you for any reason, all you have to do is respond to any one of the emails you get from me and ask me to cancel your membership and I’ll take care of it right away. Easy peasy.
But what I think is going to happen is that you’re going to catch a vision of what kind of mom you can be and what kind of life you can create, and you’ll realize that you can’t go back to the way things used to be.
If you decide to stay with me in TML Tribe, we'll automatically move you to $49 per month and auto-renew your membership each month.
You can always cancel your membership any time, for any reason. But my hope is that you’ll stay with me in TML Tribe for the next few years and together we’ll change your life and your family.
So here you are, sitting here at this crossroad.
If your a normal mom, you might have questions swirling in your head…
Will this actually work for me? This all sounds too good to be true… is it real? Can I afford this? Where will I find the time?
Don’t worry… it’s perfectly natural.
My advice to you is that you suspend all of the doubts and questions for a minute and just trust me.
Give me a chance to show you what you are capable of as a mom.
If you aren’t used to investing in yourself like this, it’s going to be uncomfortable.
But you are worth it. And your family is worth it.
I see a vision for you that you may not see for yourself right now. Just tell your brain to simmer down for a minute (I’ll teach you how to do this on your own very soon) and jump in with both feet.
There’s really nothing to lose here, and everything to gain.
Let’s do this, Momma.
And maybe… just maybe… you’ll have a chance at that Mom of the Year award you’ve been eyeing all these years ;) ;)!
Click the button at the top of this page that says "Join TML Tribe" and enter your information to join.
I'll talk to you soon!
Just to recap, here’s how it works:
1) You join TML Tribe today and get immediate access to the app and some introductory content
2) After 30 days you’ll move to $49/month and we’ll auto-renew your membership each month
3) You can cancel at anytime (but you won’t want to)
4) The most important part: You transform as a mom and create unbreakable connections with your kids and learn to be the mom you’ve always dreamt of being.